November 11, 2013 Leave a comment
One would think that the main super villain of chronic pain is actually the pain itself. That’s not the case. Pain is only the catalyst to an evil plot that inflicts harm and discord. The true evil in this tale are pain’s band of super villains. The actions of these super villains reinforce fear and uncertainty in an already unstable world, thus continuing the physical and emotional pain into a chronic state of chaos.
Introducing the real super villains of chronic pain:
The Green Goblin
This super villain loves to spread a feeling of ill appetite and nausea. No matter what one eats or drinks, there is zero rhyme or reason as to when and how much The Green Goblin will strike. Medications and acidic foods help his power increase with intensity. Mint, ginger and other herbal remedies are sometimes your only defense against this opponent.
The Deadly Taint
Usually striking a few days before a full-blown pain attack, the Deadly Taint can hit hard and fast. Sometimes, the Taint’s powers can last throughout the entire pain episode, where as other times this villain comes and goes with ease. Soft toilet paper, wet wipes and a book in the bathroom can lesson the unease of the Deadly Taint’s attack.
The Sleep Monger’s name is cursed most often during the wee hours of the night. The Monger’s main power is to keep you wide awake no matter ow much you want and need to sleep. Defensive measures such as a warm glass of milk, a lavender bath, a dark room or the most comfortable of comfy beds is no match for the Monger’s evil need to keep you awake. Some say that the Sleep Monger owns stock in silly late night TV shows and AngryBird. However, reports have never comfirmed this to be true or just a rumor.
Known to many as Fibro Fog, this super villain attacks when a fibromite least expects it and needs it. (For example, it just attacked me. I had to spell “least” five times before I actually typed the correct word.) The Fog is known for its inapt ability to place your keys in the freezer, milk on your toast and butter in your tea. Task lists and keeping a schedule is the best way to combat the Fog.
The Gloom Gang: Doctor Doom, Mr. Solitude and Shade Master
This gang leaves a trace of melancholy in the wake of their destruction. Members of the Gloom Gang can attack on their own, but they tend to hit all at once or in succession of one another. A Gloom attack usually starts with Mr. Solitude forcing a fibromite to be alone in their pain. Next, Shade Master spreads the fear of the pain with no bight end in sight. This feeling of fear and hopelessness is the Shade Master’s supreme power that helps Doctor Doom lay his path of depression — a path that would make Poe look to be a frolicking happy-go-lucky poet.
The gang strikes best after a fibromite has been fighting all of the other Super Villains for an extended period of time. The Gloom Gang also will speak through idiotic doctors, family and friends by whispering “It’s not real.” Only a fibromite’s best friends and skilled doctors have the weapons to fight The Gloom Gang. Their weapons exist in everyone, but few use them to help fights. Weapons such as patience and offering help even when it’s rejected are key to killing the gang. A fibromite can cause the gang’s demise by finding joy in the little things.
What weapons do you use to kill this unruly gang of super villains and gloomy miscreants?